i’ve struggled with my weight being “appropriate” my whole life. i’ve always been considered overweight and even obese at some points. even though i played soccer growing up, then became a teacher who was moving around her classroom and running errands. after opening the pizzeria, and becoming a little more sedimentary and A LOT more stressed the weight and my horrible mental health just started to pile on.
but workout culture and diet culture are so extremely toxic, especially to someone who is busy and already out of shape. i always looked at exercise as a way to make my body smaller, to “fit in”, to be normal. haha, whatever that means. all of this just made my mental health spiral further. i broke up with my apple watch because the movement reminders and those damn rings were also not helping, they were causing me more anxiety and stress because i’d be up moving as fast as i could to close those rings 5 minutes before midnight even though i had an action packed day at work and was exhausted (those late night exercise sessions, in turn would keep me awake because an elevated heart rate will prohibit you from falling asleep).
around february of this year, after getting through the “new year, new me” posts, i did some self reflection about my body and my mental health, and i looked at when i did move my body and how it made me feel. i also came across the book “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily Nagowski PhD & her sister Amelia Nagowski DMA. As I’m reading this book, trying to learn as much as i can about how to handle the stress that I have everyday and knowing that it gets stored in my body, and can cause physical damage (which i also can’t afford, since my business depends on my physical body). Their number one tip on closing the stress cycle was.. you guessed it MOVING YOUR BODY. When we move our bodies it gets the energy and emotions flowing and expels them out of the body in a healthy way.
since reading that book, i have been using my mental health as my motivation to move my body, i don’t stick to a certain movement schedule, because rigorous schedules never really work for me. i wake up and try my hardest to get my movement in before i leave for work, but sometimes that doesn’t happen (work requirements, my dogs, my partner) then i try to get it done in a pocket of time at the pizzeria, or at the end of the night before i go home to start my nighttime routine. i choose how i am going to move my body in the moment, i listen to my body and see what she says i need.
sometimes she needs me to lift weights to burn off any anger or frustration in my body. sometimes my body is begging for fresh air and nature, so i throw on some walking shoes and go for a walk outside. when my body is SCREAMING for me to slow down, take a few minutes to connect with it and relax, then i pull out my yoga mat, open a “Yoga with Adriene” Youtube video and be present in my body & mind.
since using my mental health as the motivation for me to move my body, my stress levels have decreased, my mental health has improved, and i have actually seen a difference in my physical body which is a plus but not my goal. how i feel in my brain and body is what is important to me. showing up for myself and my people with a good attitude and laying my head down at night and falling asleep without anxious thoughts and an elevated heart rate is most important to me.
i have linked below both the book mentioned above & the Youtube Channel mentioned also, in case the might interest you.
let me know in the comments your mindset on movement
talk soon
x kaitlin
BOOK: https://amzn.to/4bXd5lV
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@yogawithadriene